You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
