Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
