The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
