forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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