Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
