He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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