Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
