I could have mohawked her pubes.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
