turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
