bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
PANTIES FOUND
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