What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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