I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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