My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
