think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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