There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
