she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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