I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
