i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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