he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
