There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
