Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
