Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
