I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
