I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
