so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
