first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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