This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
