OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
