she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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