@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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