I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she told me i tasted like america
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
