This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
