PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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