Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
