Duck Duck Cougar?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
