Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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