He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
