My friends, they love my intelligence
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
