Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
