Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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