chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
