Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
