The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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