went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize