Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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