my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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