Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
