Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
