Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nicole vs. Life
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
