so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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