in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
