you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my being single is dangerous.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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