walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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