do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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